As a child, there was one thing that I hated. School.

Even when I was very young I dreaded the end of summer because I knew that I was soon to be in for nine months of being bossed around by the teacher and dealing with my peers who were always really annoying.

Each year as the little chillins return to their posts, I cannot help but breathe a sigh of relief knowing that I no longer have to deal with that.

This year brings a special celebration after reading that many school districts around the country are turning their schools into vaccination posts for the children.


So, allow me to rephrase… As a child there were two things that I hated. Those two things were going to school and getting shots. This school year sounds pretty similar to cruel and unusual punishment.

What did these children ever do to you?

Sure, you could say that it’s nice of us to be offering the children the first pick of the flu shots when the government ships them out around mid-October. I say that it’s not nice because these children are really never going to want to go back to school.

Imagine the kindergartner who is traumatized by his peers during the first month of class. One day, he walks into school and BAM! he gets a needle right in his little arm.

Educational? I think not.

Traumatizing? I think so.

Then, what about the little girl whose parents aren’t allowing her to get the vaccination (for whatever reason they have)? You better believe that she’s going to get made fun of for not having a My Little Pony Band-Aid on her arm.

I foresee this causing a good deal of drama among tiny people for many reasons:
a) Children hate shots.
b) Children really hate shots when their mommies aren’t there to hold their hands.
c) There are too many Band-Aids to choose from.
d) Band-Aids have a hierarchy and can lead people to form Band-Aid cliques.

Therefore, I would like to ask the school boards preparing for this school vaccination overhaul if they are prepared for the drama that will ensue.

South Carolina is leading the country with preparations to have at least one school in the state’s 85 school districts offering vaccinations.

Let me ask the question we’ve all been dying to ask.

Is this just a publicity stunt? I mean, sure, South Carolina is well-known for… nothing. Every state has to have aspirations.

Perhaps the most important idea that has come from these horrific swine flu prevention plans is that people are seeing the importance of hand washing. Apparently schools never really put an emphasis on the importance of people washing their hands after they use the bathroom.

This alone, if done properly, could drastically reduce the rate of sicknesses throughout America’s school districts.

Just by telling students (and adults) to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” while scrubbing your hands before rinsing could keep children from having to deal with actual horrors this school year.

Choose your battles America. Choose your battles.