Has anyone else been hearing about the horrific things happening at Chuck E. Cheese?

It’s not even what you’re expecting. There are no stories of children getting the herpes from the plastic ball pit. There aren’t even any stories about obnoxious children rising in mutiny. But there are tons of weird stories in the news on the Internet about the insanity surrounding Chuck E. Cheese.

The unfortunate thing is that it’s not the kids’ faults. It is their ridiculous family’s faults.


Ah, Chuck E. Cheese.

I used to love going there! I remember literally begging my parents to take me there after I got straight A’s on my report card in elementary school. I went to countless birthday parties there. Now, I’m hearing about tons of stories where the creepy mouse is molesting people, parents are attacking each other and people are just being really weird.

Just a few days ago there was a brawl in Pennsylvania that between two mothers at a Chuck E. Cheese that left a 4-year-old boy badly injured. A group of adults had been arguing and the argument became physical and engulfed the 4-year-old. He was rushed off to the hospital and has a large cut and over a dozen bruises to prove some street rep.

My favorite story about Chuck E. Cheese being a creeper is from Jennifer Sorbello who claims that she was groped by the large plastic rodent. There’s a picture floating around of Sorbello and our dear President Bush (not together) being groped by Chuck. This just further promotes my idea that (most) people who dress up in those costumes have something to hide.

Now, all of this is amusing, but what is not amusing is how Mr. Cheese is getting the brunt of it all. So what if he grabs a few breasts, he is obviously a male. Other than that, he’s just trying to live his life. He’s been showing up to work just trying to make minimum wage but continues to be attacked.

In New Hampshire, Trahan Pires, 34, attacked the mascot because he thought that his 11-year-old son had been pinned up against a video game by Chuck E. Pires supposedly ran after the rodent, ripped his head off and proceeded to yell obscenities and accusations at the man underneath. He was charged with assault and battery but was recently acquitted. The person Pires attacked was 19-years-old. Great idea!

All of these stories are so unfortunate! It seems like not too long ago that the family was going to Chuck-E-Cheese, enjoying the salad bar and pizza. I even remember going to a birthday party where a kid ate 10 pieces of pizza. Ten! I don’t even think we were 10 years old.

What a wonderful place!

The question remains. What caused this? And what can be done to prevent this monstrous mouse.